(Insert your own “nice pair” joke here.)

Players who win their way to the weeklong tournament through Absolute Poker will receive exclusive access to Serinda’s private bikini photo shoot, set on the backdrop of Aruba’s gorgeous beaches.

Clainer notes that the down-to-earth Texas Hold’em bombshell is no stranger to the poker world. Most players already know Swan from the popular online poker site’s web pages, print ads, television spots and other marketing pieces. Serinda also has her own feature table every Sunday where online poker players are invited to play with what is arguably the industry’s most attractive poker player.

Now, I don’t know if Serinda can actually play poker well, or not, but I do know that she’s Canadian, and pretty damn fine. Witness:

Sadly, she’s also 12 years younger than me, and incapable of spelling ‘holiday’.

Of course she’s not the only attractive woman connected with poker, and some of the others are much brighter.

Take, for example, Toronto girl Evelyn Ng, who’s made over a quarter million in professional tournaments, including a 2nd place finish at the World Poker Tour’s Ladies Night tournament and 5 finishes in the money at the WSOP. Clearly she’s got it on the ball, and she’s the same age as my wife, so she’s more interesting to me than Swan. And she could totally reduce Drake to a quivering mass at the table:

I hear she’s single, so make your move Drake!

Truro bar owner faces fine for allowing poker tournament

TRURO (CP) — A Nova Scotia bar owner has been fined $1,000 for allowing gaming at his business.

Kevin Dawe, who owns Calico’s Lounge in Truro, was charged following a Texas Hold ‘Em poker tournament in January.

…

No word as to whether or not fine Truro beverages such as Great White or Murphy’s were served during the tournament.

1. Please stop calling me at home and asking me to subscribe. Please. [back]

If you are spear-heading the largest illegal Internet gambling operation in San Antonio, maybe you should try and avoid the spotlight.

This would include not making it to the final table of the nationally televised World Series of Poker, finishing in sixth place and winning over $3,000,000 in prize money, if you can help it.

Police Search House Of WSOP Finalist

Now that’s just dumb.

Ex-Hollywood Agent Still Leads at WSOP

Interesting to note that out of the 27 players left in the World Series of Poker, none of them are professional players. Maybe there’s some hope for us all.

Hellmuth Bounced Early From WSOP

Also, as I discovered watching a televised poker match over the weekend, I’ve come to a stunning conclusion: Jennifer Tilly has enormous breasts. And she’s not bad at poker, either.

Jennifer Tilly, WSOP Ladies Champion 2005

Chimp Might Not Be Chump in Poker

In a “rumor mill” exercise that sounds remarkably like a viral marketing project, the poker site PokerShare.com is being touted as the first company to enter a chimpanzee in the the august tournaments of the World Series of Poker.

Unlikely as it may seem that WSOP would consider such a distraction (unless it’s in on the stunt) the word is that PokerShare intends to enter a chimp called Mikey into the main event at WSOP. Adding to the hype, the animal has apparently been given an intensive course in poker playing over the past few months.

Alex Van Klaveren of GameShare, the Gibraltar-based parent group for PokerShare, responded thus to an InfoPowa enquiry about the rumor:

“Thanks for your e-mail. Your sources are accurate. We have been training Mikey for the past four months, and he is now ready to play the WSOP main event. We will be issuing a press release by the end of the week.”

Van Klaveren did not comment on whether this ploy had the cooperation of the WSOP tournament director, saying in response to a direct question on this: “I agree, it should be interesting to see what people make of it. Mikey has a blog which is starting soon where you will be able to follow his progress.”
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I wager 400 quatloos on the newcomer. 300 quatloos says he will hurl feces on the table.