June Tournament Report

Summary
Things that happened at the June 30th tournament that have never happened before:

  • One of the people who ended in the money left the tournament several hours before it ended
  • A player was eliminated from the tournament twice
  • A winner of the tournament was announced twice
  • The tournament temporarily had a phantom player, who later appeared
  • Neil has a nice house
  • An HGPA member wins a tournament for the third time, earning a third place on the trophy
  • Unless Iím mistaken no one bought in more than twice
  • We barely saw any straights, flushes, or boats. The whole night was about pair, two pair, and trips a couple of times. Kickers played a lot.
  • Snazzy winnerís plaque (photo to follow)
  • Neil got kissed during the tournament
  • A major all-in was called based on the position of a womanís accessories
  • Wardís bladder was a major component in the speed of the tournament
  • Enough actual chairs for everyone present
  • We all saw Ward get high
  • We all saw Jarrod leave the game, with money on the table, because he was too high
  • I got to pick the music all night long. Ha!

Standings

  • 12. Merrick
  • 11. Chris “Party” Hardie
  • 10. Warden
  • 9. Tiger
  • 8. Neil
  • 7. Miguel
  • 6. Drake
  • 5. Hylander
  • 4. Shep
  • 3. “Jarrod” – §801
  • 2. Bob “J” – §120
  • 1. Big Red – §200

(People in bold are previous tournament winners. People in italics where first time HGPA tournament attendees.)

Photos
June 30th Tournament

From left to right we have Tiger, Miguel, Ward, Jarrod, Merrick, Paul, Neil’s Beer Keg (glasses are for lesser men), and Hyland.

June 30th Tournament

Paul struggles to understand the pile of chips he’s won. Neil’s head appears slightly in frame, without the obscuring effect of his mighty keg.

The Champion!

(Courtesy of the new laser engraver at R & M Rubber Stamp, a.k.a “the business Tiger owns”.)

Details

One of the people who ended in the money left the tournament several hours before it ended
This would be Jarrod, who begged off with most of a buyin in chips still sitting at the table. Rather than have us blind him out, Ward (already eliminated at this point) volunteered to play for Jarrod. This lead to a 3rd place finish, putting “Jarrod” in the money. This also lead to a lot of Ward referring to himself in the third-person as Jarrod, which very nearly got to punchable levels of annoying.
A player was eliminated from the tournament twice
This would be Ward, first eliminated as himself, and then later as “Jarrod”.
A winner of the tournament was announced twice
During the hand the eliminated “Jarrod”, Bob and I were both all-in. The flop had been . Ward’s hand was irrelevant. Bob showed up his hole cards as and he was heart-broken when I turned over , dominating him. Bob begged the gods for a three on the turn or river, but they came down and . Since my kicker beat Bob’s, and he hadn’t hit the magic card he needed, the hand was announced to me, eliminating both “Jarrod” and Bob at the same time… for a second. Until Tiger realized that the kickers didn’t play, and both Bob and I had a pair of aces to play along with the from the board. Bob and I both should have seen it, but in our defense it was 2:30 in the morning. (The very next hand was also an all in showdown between Bob and I, versus . Bob had me whupped pre-flop, but the flop had an ace in it, and it held up. Just for good measure the river was a third ace.)
The tournament temporarily had a phantom player, who later appeared
This would be Chris “Mr. Poker” Hardie, who threw in §20 to get blinded out, but who was later rejected from the Girl’s Party and figured he might as well play some poker. Until he went all-in against me, that is!
Neil has a nice house
Nothing really to add here. It’s a nice place. The colour scheme matches the cast of Clue.
An HGPA member wins a tournament for the third time, earning a third place on the trophy
Yes, that would be me, pulling ahead of the pack.
Unless Iím mistaken no one bought in more than twice
This is a really odd thing, and probably ties into the tight play item mentioned below. We didn’t have a lot of big moves in the early play (aside from the second hand, where my trip queens turned into a boat on the river to crush Bob’s trip queens with a superior kicker), so there weren’t a lot of rebuys in the rounds when it was an option. As the person who eventually won, I am somewhat saddened by this, since it meant the pot was smaller than it might have been, and I could always use more quatloos. On the other hand, this was one of the most fun tournaments we’ve had because of the improved play…
We barely saw any straights, flushes, or boats. The whole night was about pair, two pair, and trips a couple of times. Kickers played a lot.
I don’t know about everyone else, but I managed to make a number of good laydowns, and I think there was a lot of that going around. Mostly there was aggressive protective betting early on, which tended to drive out most draws. This, coupled with the good laydowns, meant that when we actually got to the showdown it was normally two pair at most that we saw.
Snazzy winnerís plaque
See the photo above.
Neil got kissed during the tournament
I really hope this has never happened before. Of course, almost immediately after his “kiss for luck” and reminder that he had to win some patio furniture money, Neil busted out, so maybe this wasn’t a good thing.
A major all-in was called based on the position of a womanís accessories
This was me busting out Mr. Poker. I needed to decide whether or not his all-in bet was a sign of strong hand, or a sign that he was preparing to leave shortly. I called in his girlfriend, who was observed by several people at the table to be wearing her purse on her shoulder. This was interpreted as a sign that Hardie had been given, or was being given, the “time to go” signal. Armed with this read, I called his all-in, and won the hand, busting him out.
Wardís bladder was a major component in the speed of the tournament
Dude needs to get a catheter before the next tournament. It takes him longer to piss than it does to shuffle.
Enough actual chairs for everyone present
Although with 12 at the table, we couldn’t actually all face in to the table, at least we all had a place to sit. And what’s more, all of them were chairs with backs, a definite improvement over the common HGPA experience.
We all saw Ward get high
While this did not help with his “speaking in the third person” issue, it did seem to improve his play.
We all saw Jarrod leave the game, with money on the table, because he was too high
Jarrod is the worst smoker ever, especially when you factor in experience.
I got to pick the music all night long. Ha!
High points of the night included Emerson, Lake, and Powell making heroic feelings rise in Neil, and that one Parliament song (during the 120 minute Parliament mix) that Neil wanted to sample for his doorbell. Oh, and the mocking of Tom Waits’ Hold On–until I announced that it was my favourite Waits song, and then proceeded to win two important hands while it was playing.

  1. The generic currency symbol § is used here to represent “quatloos”, the pretend currency we plan in, since we would never engage in anything as legally questionable as gambling for actual money. [back]

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